April 11, 2005
Temperature-53.7 C -64.7 F
Windchill-74.4 C -101.9 F
Wind 16.9 kts Grid 6
Barometer 677.7 mb (10715 ft)
Lunch: French Dip
Dinner: Crab Cakes
Today I was listening to my favorite podcast, Coverville when the song "One is the Loneliest Number" came on and it made me think about life here. Even though I have friends I could never say something to them that I would not want the entire community to hear. After all we as human beings are only capable of so much self discipline and nothing tests our character more than a secret. In real life I have a counselor where I can talk about my life, where I can vent and I can talk about incidents and how I felt. But here there is none of that and finding a friend that I can really confide in is rare. The last time I was here my friend "J" helped, I could tell him anything and he was like a vault. It went in and never came out and when I was venting he realized I was venting and just let it go. I never realized what having a friend like that meant.
I wonder if cliques form because of the reduced opportunities to say what is felt. After all it is only a matter of time before the wrong thing is said to the wrong person and suddenly everyone here knows what was said and suddenly I am on the outside looking in. To me it feels very much like high school and many times the friends I chose there were facing similar circumstances as I, and we built a friendship based on our commonalities. We formed a clique and anyone that was different from us became the enemy and we talked "shit" about them. I wonder if there existed the opportunity to talk confidentially to a professional if some of the stress could be alleviated and the community would function with fewer cliques and more harmony? There is a condition here that we call "toasty" where people become very short with one another and I wonder if some of the symptoms aren’tincurred from the stress of holding so much inside?
Windchill-74.4 C -101.9 F
Wind 16.9 kts Grid 6
Barometer 677.7 mb (10715 ft)
Lunch: French Dip
Dinner: Crab Cakes
Today I was listening to my favorite podcast, Coverville when the song "One is the Loneliest Number" came on and it made me think about life here. Even though I have friends I could never say something to them that I would not want the entire community to hear. After all we as human beings are only capable of so much self discipline and nothing tests our character more than a secret. In real life I have a counselor where I can talk about my life, where I can vent and I can talk about incidents and how I felt. But here there is none of that and finding a friend that I can really confide in is rare. The last time I was here my friend "J" helped, I could tell him anything and he was like a vault. It went in and never came out and when I was venting he realized I was venting and just let it go. I never realized what having a friend like that meant.
I wonder if cliques form because of the reduced opportunities to say what is felt. After all it is only a matter of time before the wrong thing is said to the wrong person and suddenly everyone here knows what was said and suddenly I am on the outside looking in. To me it feels very much like high school and many times the friends I chose there were facing similar circumstances as I, and we built a friendship based on our commonalities. We formed a clique and anyone that was different from us became the enemy and we talked "shit" about them. I wonder if there existed the opportunity to talk confidentially to a professional if some of the stress could be alleviated and the community would function with fewer cliques and more harmony? There is a condition here that we call "toasty" where people become very short with one another and I wonder if some of the symptoms aren’tincurred from the stress of holding so much inside?
posted by Kirk & Jodi Roberts at 9:20 PM
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