May 26, 2005
Temperature-67.0 C -88.6 F
Windchill-88.7 C -127.6 F
Wind 9.7 kts Grid 115
Barometer 677.4 mb (10726 ft)
Lunch: Jambalaya
Dinner: Spaghetti and meat balls
May is the hardest month here. Many people discover how long the darkness lasts and how cold it gets and it all combines to a general feeling of unpleasantness. Some people look forward to the dark but most get really crabby due to the chemical changes their bodies are undergoing. Our thyroid slows, our metabolism slows and we constantly feel tired. Some people have trouble sleeping and others sleep really well and have really vivid dreams. Regardless it is May when we discover how much stress we are under. Any little conflict that has been simmering over the summer months really explodes and becomes a big deal. I also find my body hurts all the time and any little injury takes much longer to heal. My hands look like they are hundreds of years old because it is so dry that any little moisture in my skin just evaporates into the air. The space between my fingers cracks and bleeds and my knuckles occasionally split open. I use super glue to join the cracks in my skin together in hopes they can heal enough so the next time I bend my finger the crack doesn’t reopen. Sometimes the crack of my ass splits near the top of my pants and every time I sit it splits open and bleeds. My skin develops all kinds of blemishes and weird colors. I look in the mirror and looking back at me is person with dark circles around his eyes with pale skin and a blue tint. I find myself withdrawing from the community more and more because I don’t deal well with conflict and all the drama that is occurring just makes me want to lay low until it all blows over. I spend most of my time in my room listening to podcasts and reading the news of the outside world and I check my email constantly in hopes that somebody sent me something. A joke, a picture anything that helps me feel far away from here even for an instant. The other day a friend sent me some pictures of her kids and the spring tulips and as simple as the pictures were she will never know what they meant to me.
When coming here was something I might do, I thought I would have plenty of time on my hands to do hobbies, write, plan my trip, design things and I quickly learned that time here evaporates. This time I did not have illusions of writing any symphonies or curing cancer on my spare time, I knew better. I suspect my time disappears because my faculties have slowed so much. I sit at my desk become inspired to do some work, grab some tools and head to where the work is to be done. I get there and I can’t remember why I am there. I look down at the tools and realize what old age is going to be like.
Fortunately, mid winter is three weeks away and from then on all the milestone become positive in nature. Mid winter, then first glow, then sun up, fist flight and my flight out of here. A veteran of this place said something that summed up my feelings pretty well, "the best thing about this place is leaving".
Windchill-88.7 C -127.6 F
Wind 9.7 kts Grid 115
Barometer 677.4 mb (10726 ft)
Lunch: Jambalaya
Dinner: Spaghetti and meat balls
May is the hardest month here. Many people discover how long the darkness lasts and how cold it gets and it all combines to a general feeling of unpleasantness. Some people look forward to the dark but most get really crabby due to the chemical changes their bodies are undergoing. Our thyroid slows, our metabolism slows and we constantly feel tired. Some people have trouble sleeping and others sleep really well and have really vivid dreams. Regardless it is May when we discover how much stress we are under. Any little conflict that has been simmering over the summer months really explodes and becomes a big deal. I also find my body hurts all the time and any little injury takes much longer to heal. My hands look like they are hundreds of years old because it is so dry that any little moisture in my skin just evaporates into the air. The space between my fingers cracks and bleeds and my knuckles occasionally split open. I use super glue to join the cracks in my skin together in hopes they can heal enough so the next time I bend my finger the crack doesn’t reopen. Sometimes the crack of my ass splits near the top of my pants and every time I sit it splits open and bleeds. My skin develops all kinds of blemishes and weird colors. I look in the mirror and looking back at me is person with dark circles around his eyes with pale skin and a blue tint. I find myself withdrawing from the community more and more because I don’t deal well with conflict and all the drama that is occurring just makes me want to lay low until it all blows over. I spend most of my time in my room listening to podcasts and reading the news of the outside world and I check my email constantly in hopes that somebody sent me something. A joke, a picture anything that helps me feel far away from here even for an instant. The other day a friend sent me some pictures of her kids and the spring tulips and as simple as the pictures were she will never know what they meant to me.
When coming here was something I might do, I thought I would have plenty of time on my hands to do hobbies, write, plan my trip, design things and I quickly learned that time here evaporates. This time I did not have illusions of writing any symphonies or curing cancer on my spare time, I knew better. I suspect my time disappears because my faculties have slowed so much. I sit at my desk become inspired to do some work, grab some tools and head to where the work is to be done. I get there and I can’t remember why I am there. I look down at the tools and realize what old age is going to be like.
Fortunately, mid winter is three weeks away and from then on all the milestone become positive in nature. Mid winter, then first glow, then sun up, fist flight and my flight out of here. A veteran of this place said something that summed up my feelings pretty well, "the best thing about this place is leaving".
posted by Kirk & Jodi Roberts at 9:57 PM
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